Special Needs Ministry Q & A: What to do when a parent doesn’t mention a special need at church
What do you do when you are striving to serve a child in your children’s ministry that you believe has special needs or learning disabilities, but the parent hasn’t mentioned any additional needs or diagnosis to ministry staff or volunteers?
This is a question I got during an Instagram stories Q&A about disability ministry a few weeks ago…
This can feel overwhelming and tricky! I've been here before…
A few things to consider:
Is there a reason that the parent is not sharing a known diagnosis? I have heard some parents share that they chose not to mention anything because they were worried their child would not be accepted or allowed to stay in the children's ministry.
The parent may be unaware of how their child struggles in a setting such as a children's ministry.
The parent may not be ready or willing to walk through the diagnosis journey yet.
A few suggestions:
A diagnosis is not required to offer support. Think about what needs you see and how you can provide supports to help with the needs that are presenting themselves in the church. Provide buddy/inclusion support in the regular classroom.
Provide universal supports for the entire class that the child is in (fidgets, alternative seating, reduced volume, lower lighting, etc. as needed) so that a parent does not feel like you are singling out their child.
When speaking with the parent, share positive things about the child. What have you noticed about them that are positive? Often parents whose children have behavioral concerns/learning concerns only hear about negative things from teachers or other people who work with their child. Communicate how much you value their child and their family.
Once you have shared the positive, share what issues you have observed with the parent, and ask for their suggestions about what works well at home and/or school. No mention of a specific disabilities or special needs terminology needs to be used, just simply something like, “Hey, we're noticing that your kiddo is having a hard time with _____ in children's ministry. I know you're the expert on your child, and we want to serve him well and make sure he feels loved and learns about Jesus when he is in church. Do you have any ideas or tips on how we can do that well?”
You may also find this resource from Wonderful Works helpful as well. They provide excellent video trainings!
What other questions do you have about disability ministry, adapting curriculum, etc.? I'd love to be able to point you to resources, share in the comments below!
Looking for a disability ministry curriculum? Check out Awe & Wonder’s Disability Ministry Curriculum!
